Dealing with Negative People August 24, 2007
Posted by coachtonya in MCB Prize give-a-ways, Topics of the Week.trackback
Yesterday, I had a wonderful “Journey to Self” show with Jenn Givler. We talked about Staying Positive in a Negative World. (you can listen to the show on my site)
During the show we touched on how even though we might be striving to be positive that negativity can be contagious. So, to keep the great discussion going, I though it would be good to hear how all of you deal with negative people.
Sometimes, it hard for you not to get caught up in other negativity, but its not impossible.
This week we our sponsor is Sandy Morgan of Audiobooks Warehouse. She is offering the winner an Audio book of choice (winner must download book from site. Sandy then will reimburse book cost through PayPal).
To get entered in this weeks contest just leave a comment on how you deal with negative people, what are your tips and experiences?
I will draw a winner out of all those commented on Wednesday (Aug. 29th)
Mom\'s Coffee Break 
How do I handle negative people? Proverbs 26:4-5 Answer not a fool according to his folly, lest thou also be like unto him. Answer a fool according to his folly, lest he be wise in his own conceit.
21st century translation- cover every negative comment with a “bright-side” remark but never argue or contend with the speaker. Eventually, they will either start looking on the bright-side or go away to find someone to agree with their negativity. Either, you win!
I just LOVE your comment Yvonne and couldn’t agree more!
My eldest daughter tended to be negative and pessimistic and gradually through the years I have trained her to be MUCH more positive mostly by getting her to work on her language – when she makes a negative comment, I ask her to rephrase it. Once we change our language, our thoughts and feelings soon follow.
Katherine Reschke
http://www.ICoachMoms.com
I try to see every experience as a positive experience. When i meet negative people, I smile. Smiling is contageous. I do not argue with people that arew in a down mood. I just mention some postive things and smile.
And if a person is just ‘incurable”, so negative that you can feel the negative vibes, I try to avoid that person. if avoiding is not an option, I smile again. I start smiling when I see this person coming. It helps. Maybe not for them, but certainly for me.
How do I handle negatives?
I notice that there’s something negative, whether it’s another person, myself, a situation, a news story. I have to pay attention and acknowledge that it’s not helping me. I remind myself that I am positive and surrounded by positive people and situations, then send a small prayer to the Creator saying thank you. (I do this when I feel a lack, as well…simply praying a thank you prayer. Then I might say more, but usually that’s enough.)
This is quite interesting in that I will be taking a CE course on Dealing with Difficult People in November. Negative people can be contrary, cantankerous, or even controlling. Either way how you communicate can make all the difference. There is so much need in this area for all of us, not just managers. It all boils down to communicating with Tact and Skill.
That said, in dealing with difficult people, realize that they are handing you a gift, if you refuse to accept their gift of negativity then it remains with them, that’s true. However this is not really dealing with them, it is merely getting around the issue. It is better to handle the problem, especially if it is in the workplace environment.
There are many reasons they act this way. One of which could be the situations they are dealing with are causing them stress and they are merely lashing out. In the case of know-it-alls and dictators, it may just be fear or it may be they are just control freaks. Any way, each person needs to be dealt with individually according to their issues.
The worst thing you can do is lash out at them, that merely give them the control they are seeking.
Ginger
I am in agreement with Yvonne as well! Very well worded! 🙂
Wonderful insights!!
Katherine ~ I agree language is so important when we are focusing on keeping ourselves positive! Choosing the right words not just for external, but for our internal self-talk can make a huge difference.
Yvonne O. ~ I love the idea of smiling. I often do this, in fact just the other day I was at the store and the cashier seemed to be having a bad day…never under estimate the power of a smile…what is the saying…If you see someone without a smile, give them yours!
Kim ~ I find that gratitude is a huge help in staying positive. And I love the idea of you making yourself aware that the negativity is not helping you in your life and with your life’s goals.
Ginger ~ How exciting to be taking a class about this! And I totally agree, by meeting negativity with more negativity gives that person EXACTLY what they want…and gives them power. I know several people that thrive on negativity and chaos. I have seen them in action and it just isn’t pretty.
There is a shield exercise that I use when dealing with negative people.
When I am faced with a negative person, I visualize a shield of light. It extends from the bottom of my abdomen to right below my heart.
Visualize this shield as a filter, allowing positive energy, love, and good vibes to come through, but any negativity bounces right off the shield not allowing any to come into your own energy field.
Give it a try! And let me know how it goes!!
This is just wonderful!! Don’t forget to tell your friends about our topic and our prize give-a-way!
With Empowering Regards,
Tonya
I agree with Yvonne. Smiling can break down barriers and soften people’s moods/souls. If you know the person, send a funny card or a card of hope just to show you care! You may be surprized by the result….
Attitude is Gratitude!
Sandy
Congrats to our winner Ginger Marks! WOOHOO!! You have won an audiobook of your choice. Congrats!!
T.
Negative people can be really draining on our souls. Its so important to protect ourselves. I write about my ideas in more detail here …
http://www.helium.com/tm/858958/energy-drainer-father-asked