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What Identity Are You Living? June 13, 2007

Posted by coachtonya in From Coach Tonya.

The working mother has many roles that she takes on, sometimes creating a whirlwind of responsibilities and demands. Between raising a family, running a business, developing a career, it leaves women with little time to pursue the key elements to maintaining their own identity. Maintaining one’s own identity is vial to personal advancement. Think of the life you are living.

Do you know who you are? What else is there to you other than being a mother or owning a business, what personal goals do you have?

Do you know what you want out of life? What kind of life will make you feel fulfilled and complete?

More importantly, Can you really know what in life is going to make you happy, if you don’t know yourself?

We need deep inner reflection in order to determine where we want to take our lives. When you lose touch with your self, you start to lose your identity. Everything that makes you unique starts to fade, your passions, your interests, your hobbies, even your own view of the world around you starts to take on a different perspective.

Like any relationship, without putting in the work it takes to maintain it, you start to lose touch with who you really are. When you sacrifice your own personal care, your relationship with yourself declines. Women often throw themselves into their family or their work ignoring the fact that they are losing themselves.

The most common reason blamed for the loss of personal identity is time. “There is just not enough time” or “I don’t have time for that”; we use the same excuse when we lose touch with old friends or don’t keep up on activities that we use to love. Poor time, it gets such a bad reputation, getting blamed for us not finishing projects, not going after our dreams, and not working on ourselves. My husband and I have a motto in our family and that is, “If it is important we will make time for it”. The fact is that it is not time’s fault; it is our own fault for not making ourselves a priority.

I am a different person than I was ten, even five years ago, because then, I was living an existence that was not true to who I was. Now, I work very hard at maintaining a healthy relationship with myself. It has given me the ability to create a life that is worthy of who I really am.

Are you living your life as the real you, or are you just going through the motions substituting the roles that you fill in your life for your identity?

© Copyright June, 2007
Tonya Ramsey



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